21 Comments
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Cristoffa's avatar

Hi Reena, thanks for engrossing me in this short story so firmly.

Was going to say "liked" but it is so sad; aspirations dashed and male ascendant control and theft and more abuse.

And interwoven with other themes, not to mention huge pay gap for same and probably better services ( US to India), and class gap, and at the same time, the tellers own losses and things.

Wonder how far you had to seach for narrative ?

And as I have said before , a fan of Rudyard Kipling, esp his short stories.

But also of Guy de Maupassant, and his often pithy and poignant short ones.

Listening to v cool jazz playlist on Spottily from two Haitian born Montrealiennes (hope a true word, but think it is); duo called Bel and Quinn, who also post on Substack singly and under Not Twin Sisters.

Check them out. If trouble finding , I can send link, I think.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Thank you so much Cristoffa! Unfortunately I did not have to look very far at all. This is commonplace. I appreciate your careful reading and comments so much! I have noted I need to re-read Kipling, etc. Thank you for being here.

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Cristoffa's avatar

Always appreciate crisp and meaningful writing. Look forward to more.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Thank you Cristoff!

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Cristoffa's avatar

Thanks Reena, will send no more after this on this.

See that it should have been, engrossing me with. I think.

And had meant to compliment about beautiful wooden boat wreck pic.

Looks as if it would have fared well on our vast Moreton Bay waters; high prow for surf and l often large chop and wide and low stern for low water and stability

And a hairdresser story of my own, but mostly glad to tell.

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Vanita Nanda's avatar

It’s a fiction but sounds so believable , so many woman have such heart breaking stories and fate!! It is written so well I can just imagine the salon and Manjit bending over to thread your eyebrows.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Thank you Vanita for reading—and commenting. So glad you found it relatable!

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Ramnath Rangaswamy's avatar

Captured very well the nuances and stories of people we interact with everyday in India.

Seems like a real experience.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Thank you so much, Ramnath. I appreciate you reading and stopping to tell me very much!

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atul jain's avatar

Beautiful story. I was looking forward to part 2. Some of the things that happen to women are because of women themselves. Why do they get in to relationships with such men. I am not condoning men's behavior here. I guess a woman think that man will change when he is with her!!!! It never happens.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Thank you Atul. I appreciate it. There is some truth to what you say. And I don't have a good answer to your question although I do think there are multiple factors for it including economic, social and cultural and worst of all, many are raised to think they don't matter, their happiness does not matter all that much, and staying in a marriage gives them legitimacy....but it is a very long discussion. Thanks for reading and for your comments.

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Savita Krishnamoorthy's avatar

I enjoyed how well you brought the story together- in simple language, so accessible and the pacing of the story…it kept me gripped until the end. You wove such a heartbreaking tale, Reena! And the tragedy is that there are so many Manjeets in India!

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Thank you dear Savita! Appreciate the comment so much, as well as you empathy for the desperation of the many Manjeets. Glad it gripped you.

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Lalitha Vatturi's avatar

Sad story and written so well! Very clever - making us read between lines and imagine what must have happened. Will you rewrite it from Manjeet's perspective?

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Thank you for reading dear Lalitha! So glas you liked it. And what a great idea... maybe I will at some point. Thank you as always.

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Pragalbha Doshi's avatar

Heartbreaking and how you bring it all alive with words! I want to know exactly what happened, but then don't want to know...there is no need to know as it is all so clear. So many stories like these of beautiful life of beautiful people...you portrayed so beautifully.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Thank you so much dear Pragalbha 🙏

So glad you enjoyed the story.

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Anshu K's avatar

Heartbreaking! You tell it so well!

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Thank you so much Anshu! I appreciate that very much.

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Raj's avatar

Lovely and heartbreaking story! Could not stop reading it - is it true Reena? Awesome writing!

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Thank Raj! The two characters are people I met but their stories are made up — except for a few details. So glad to hear you enjoyed it. 🙏

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