So moving. As I've learned painfully, our western culture knows way too little about how to talk about death and, particularly in my case, about my son who died in 2017. Thank you, Reena.
Hi Reena, beautiful letter. I’m estranged from both my parents -- for very different reasons -- so I often wonder how I’ll feel when they die. I appreciate your thought provoking words.
Thank you Amran for reading and for your generous words. Sorry to hear about your estrangement from your parents. I can only imagine it’s a painful place. The parental bond is such a primal and profound one that their passing will likely cause some reaction. I know of a cousin who grieved the loss not of his parents but of the lost possibility of what could have been. Hopefully you’ve made or will be able to make peace with it all. Life brings gifts and also suffering we didn’t earn. All we can do is meet it all with grace and courage, both of which fail me on many days.
I read your post and your exchange with your daughter - hilarious, profound and a little hard on my techie fellowpeeps 😀 But carry on!
Just read your essay. Sorry to hear about your parents. I just returned from India with my mom (remember you had interviewed her)? I'll pass your essay on to her too. Lets connect sometime.
Best wishes, and the very best for this new year - 2023. To new beginnings, and happy old memories.
Thanks Sandeep for reading and for your thoughts. Happy New Year to you as well. Of course - I absolutely remember your mom. Please give her my regards. Do let me know what she thinks of the essay. Yes look forward to hearing from you. Thanks!
Thanks for sharing your response to Samuel in Paris. I like your style of writing and, so, I enjoyed the response. Just like you, I also experienced the pain of losing my parents when it happened, even though I had been living without both of them for almost twenty years. I also felt, at their demise, a loss of a source of unconditional love and loss of an informal abode where I could walk in uninvited at any time and be totally free of all worldly worries -- I continue to experience the pain of this loss even today. Loss of parents takes away the source of strength that we need during our times of dificulties. Today I regret that before my parents were gone forever, I wish I had an opportunity to give them one last hug. But, we all know that end of our journey on the Earth is imminent.
Thank you dear Chachaji ! I really appreciate your comment and sentiments. It gives me so much joy to know that my words meant something and that you could identify with them. Thank you for the encouragement.
Thank you dear Arjun for reading and following! I thought about that and had a wistful remembrance for the days of real paper and letters. I loved that and still do. But in this age of ease and efficiency and getting our communications out as soon as possible, we both wrote on our computers /online. Hope the magic still works but nothing like getting a precious piece of paper, is there?
Oh yes, the magic certainly works! I was just curious. I do like to send the occassional postcard. Handwritten, of course. Or take notes in my paper notebook with my fountain pen.
So moving. As I've learned painfully, our western culture knows way too little about how to talk about death and, particularly in my case, about my son who died in 2017. Thank you, Reena.
Thanks dear Mary! We talk about it - we women do as it suits us. Ultimately we write for ourselves. It helps. Sending you my best and a big hug.
Hi Reena, beautiful letter. I’m estranged from both my parents -- for very different reasons -- so I often wonder how I’ll feel when they die. I appreciate your thought provoking words.
I have two kids now and talked with my daughter about the cycle of life here (in my typically sarcastic way): https://open.substack.com/pub/agowani/p/my-daughter-and-i-had-the-talk-about-93d
You might enjoy it.
Thank you Amran for reading and for your generous words. Sorry to hear about your estrangement from your parents. I can only imagine it’s a painful place. The parental bond is such a primal and profound one that their passing will likely cause some reaction. I know of a cousin who grieved the loss not of his parents but of the lost possibility of what could have been. Hopefully you’ve made or will be able to make peace with it all. Life brings gifts and also suffering we didn’t earn. All we can do is meet it all with grace and courage, both of which fail me on many days.
I read your post and your exchange with your daughter - hilarious, profound and a little hard on my techie fellowpeeps 😀 But carry on!
Hi Reena,
Just read your essay. Sorry to hear about your parents. I just returned from India with my mom (remember you had interviewed her)? I'll pass your essay on to her too. Lets connect sometime.
Best wishes, and the very best for this new year - 2023. To new beginnings, and happy old memories.
Thanks Sandeep for reading and for your thoughts. Happy New Year to you as well. Of course - I absolutely remember your mom. Please give her my regards. Do let me know what she thinks of the essay. Yes look forward to hearing from you. Thanks!
Hi Reena,
Thanks for sharing your response to Samuel in Paris. I like your style of writing and, so, I enjoyed the response. Just like you, I also experienced the pain of losing my parents when it happened, even though I had been living without both of them for almost twenty years. I also felt, at their demise, a loss of a source of unconditional love and loss of an informal abode where I could walk in uninvited at any time and be totally free of all worldly worries -- I continue to experience the pain of this loss even today. Loss of parents takes away the source of strength that we need during our times of dificulties. Today I regret that before my parents were gone forever, I wish I had an opportunity to give them one last hug. But, we all know that end of our journey on the Earth is imminent.
Keep on writing! It brings joy to others.
Jo W
Thank you dear Chachaji ! I really appreciate your comment and sentiments. It gives me so much joy to know that my words meant something and that you could identify with them. Thank you for the encouragement.
Lovely, Reena. Just lovely.
Thanks dear Meg! I love letters...always up for writing and receiving them :-)
What a beautiful letter, Reena, and so well written. This is going to be a very interesting exchange, that I will certainly follow.
What I was wondering, while reading the introduction, are the letters were written on a computer, or with pen and paper? Just curious.
Thank you dear Arjun for reading and following! I thought about that and had a wistful remembrance for the days of real paper and letters. I loved that and still do. But in this age of ease and efficiency and getting our communications out as soon as possible, we both wrote on our computers /online. Hope the magic still works but nothing like getting a precious piece of paper, is there?
Oh yes, the magic certainly works! I was just curious. I do like to send the occassional postcard. Handwritten, of course. Or take notes in my paper notebook with my fountain pen.
Yes! I definitely do that too. And fountain pens are still an exquisite experience.