Reena I was a a bit hesitant about reading this story as Sci Fi is a genre I generally stay away from. I needed to read the Beginning twice to get a handle on what was going on, but by the time I started the Middle I was hooked!! I liked the fact that in spite of being a futuristic Sci fi , it was about relationships, obsession with perfection and productivity as well as human attributes of doubts and guilt. I definitely thought the Sameera’s suspense was kept very successfully till the end , it made the story more interesting and ending very satisfying. I loved the small details in the story which were woven beautifully and made this story a work of art and labor of love. Keep writing you are fantastic!!
Thank you dear Vanita! Writers live for words like these. I am so so happy to hear that the story hooked you and the suspense kept you going. You made my day!
PS> I know EXACTLY what you mean about sci-fi, btw. And this story too came to me as a human one but then I realized the genre was fitting and got over my hesitation.
Hi Reena, the finale was powerful and deeply moving. I felt sad for Raman only because I'm a techno-optimist, hoping for a utopian future as technology evolves. I was hoping till the end that Maya turns out to be Maya (illusion) and a CF. I wanted Raman's gut feeling to be validated. But I guess gut feelings can be wrong if you've blocked out a part of you as a result of childhood trauma.
The twist in the tale of Dr. Roshan being Maya's sister was so unexpected and made me want to read the story from the beginning again. Even if you're estranged for long, family always has your back when things go wrong!
The last line packed a lot of punch - "Then he’d have to find his way home—to Maya, to his real family, and to the Raman he’d lost a long time ago!" Unforgettable.
Rob -- Thank you again! And you totally got it. Raman is a basically a good guy - just has bought too deeply into bad ideas that he's been (sort of) radicalized with. He does fall in love after all but won't use that terminology. Also yes "gut feelings can be wrong if you've blocked out a part of you as a result of childhood trauma", and yet his deeper gut that something was very wrong with his whole set of assumptions (family is not important, reaching one's max potential is the highest altar to worship at, taking the government's diktat without question etc) turned out to be the key. I am so thrilled to hear the story surprised you and yet kept you hooked. The whole Sameera thing I went back and forth on a lot - sometimes revealing too much, sometime too little so glad to hear it surprised you.
Many thanks for all the detailed comments and thoughts. It is much appreciated.
Thanks for taking the time to respond to my comments, Reena. As a reader who holds writers like you at a high esteem, I feel honored at the attention. Thanks. Raising a toast for more things to come - more stories and experiences of people and places, real and imagined. Thumbs up to the power of storytelling.
If this is your first foray into writing then you must not stop now! Never!
This is excellent work on many levels. As for science fiction not being your thing, you manage it in the most perfect way, which is to make real people live real lives but within an imagined world. That is a great skill ! The science is kept mostly in the background and the story is about human emotion, relationships, weaknesses and the self destructive power of the mind - all things that we can relate to in our own lives.
I think your imagined world is very well crafted - there is just enough there for us to get the gist of it; it doesn't crowd out the characters, it's not filled with acres of description of technology, robots and spaceships and the stuff that a lot of science fiction (which is still enjoyable in its own way) is reknowned for.
And above all, it is a story that is complete in itself, which is hard to do in relatively few words - so absolutely top marks from me (not that I am qualified to judge and give out marks, as such!) and I hope this is the first of many tales that I get to read from you.
Just blown away, Nick by your careful reading, your encouragement and your detailed feedback. That means SO much to me. I truly appreciate it. Ths story took a while to put together and then I wasn't sure when it was "ready" for publication. Of course I still see room for improvement. But I'm glad I put it out there because it's also making me see what I did right and not to lose that. I'm so thrilled to read that the sci-part doesn't overshadow the fi-part because that was my intent. I am always interested in the human angle and to read that it worked is really encouraging. Thank you thank you thank you. You have encouraged me to write on!
I finally got a chance to read the end today, Reena. And I agree with Nick that the focus on relationships amidst the sci-fi was what grounded the story for me and made it relatable. I also really enjoyed the plot twists, and I absolutely respect what it takes to create those turns! I am wondering how the ending came to you? You’ve left it somewhat open. Was that always your plan, or did it evolve as you wrote it?
Yay! Makes me really glad you liked it Emily! So happy to read that the human story came through, because the main reason I’ve not been attracted to most science fiction is because a lot of it is enamored with gadgetry and imaginative tech etc which is not interesting to me in a story but as I’ve discovered the best of it poses human questions.
The story arrived as a germ of an idea which needed a sci-fi backdrop; and then the end came as I wrote it. It suggests a follow on doesn’t it? but I’m not writing that - not yet anyway.
Big big thanks for reading it with attention and for your lovely comments, Emily!
I did enjoy it! In general, the human element, relationships and what motivates people, always draws me. If that's not there, I'm not usually interested. Thanks for the info on how the story arrived. The ending does suggest a follow, but also seems absolutely complete without one.
Reena, this is a story about finding who you are, who you have always been, even if you didn't know it. You write beautifully, with sensitivity and a straightforward kind of expressiveness that I find both easy to read and appealing. I think story telling is your thing. Thanks for this one.
Thank YOU so much dear Tim! I’m so thrilled that you read the whole story. And your thoughtful comments mean the world. This story is my longest yet as I’m learning how to write so I appreciate your words even more. 🙏
You are a skilled storyteller. You keep the reader guessing, anticipating and interested. And were able to tie things together quite satisfactorily at the end. Can be a challenge when one has built up anticipation. The choice of names KNOT, Maya, Krish, I think intentional, were clever. Enjoyed reading it. Thank you!
Sandeep — Thank you first of all for reading the story. That alone makes my day. And I so appreciate your vote of confidence. This is my longest story yet as I learn how to write better so I’m really encouraged.
This is a fantastic milestone for you, Reena, and one for which you should be proud. It takes courage to write something different than your usual. It's worth it to contemplate what you think worked or didn't, and then apply it to all the great things you'll write next!
Reena I was a a bit hesitant about reading this story as Sci Fi is a genre I generally stay away from. I needed to read the Beginning twice to get a handle on what was going on, but by the time I started the Middle I was hooked!! I liked the fact that in spite of being a futuristic Sci fi , it was about relationships, obsession with perfection and productivity as well as human attributes of doubts and guilt. I definitely thought the Sameera’s suspense was kept very successfully till the end , it made the story more interesting and ending very satisfying. I loved the small details in the story which were woven beautifully and made this story a work of art and labor of love. Keep writing you are fantastic!!
Thank you dear Vanita! Writers live for words like these. I am so so happy to hear that the story hooked you and the suspense kept you going. You made my day!
PS> I know EXACTLY what you mean about sci-fi, btw. And this story too came to me as a human one but then I realized the genre was fitting and got over my hesitation.
Hi Reena, the finale was powerful and deeply moving. I felt sad for Raman only because I'm a techno-optimist, hoping for a utopian future as technology evolves. I was hoping till the end that Maya turns out to be Maya (illusion) and a CF. I wanted Raman's gut feeling to be validated. But I guess gut feelings can be wrong if you've blocked out a part of you as a result of childhood trauma.
The twist in the tale of Dr. Roshan being Maya's sister was so unexpected and made me want to read the story from the beginning again. Even if you're estranged for long, family always has your back when things go wrong!
The last line packed a lot of punch - "Then he’d have to find his way home—to Maya, to his real family, and to the Raman he’d lost a long time ago!" Unforgettable.
Thanks for writing and sharing. Great work.
Rob -- Thank you again! And you totally got it. Raman is a basically a good guy - just has bought too deeply into bad ideas that he's been (sort of) radicalized with. He does fall in love after all but won't use that terminology. Also yes "gut feelings can be wrong if you've blocked out a part of you as a result of childhood trauma", and yet his deeper gut that something was very wrong with his whole set of assumptions (family is not important, reaching one's max potential is the highest altar to worship at, taking the government's diktat without question etc) turned out to be the key. I am so thrilled to hear the story surprised you and yet kept you hooked. The whole Sameera thing I went back and forth on a lot - sometimes revealing too much, sometime too little so glad to hear it surprised you.
Many thanks for all the detailed comments and thoughts. It is much appreciated.
Thanks for taking the time to respond to my comments, Reena. As a reader who holds writers like you at a high esteem, I feel honored at the attention. Thanks. Raising a toast for more things to come - more stories and experiences of people and places, real and imagined. Thumbs up to the power of storytelling.
The honor is all mine. Yes -- a worthy toast. Thank you!
Hi Reena
If this is your first foray into writing then you must not stop now! Never!
This is excellent work on many levels. As for science fiction not being your thing, you manage it in the most perfect way, which is to make real people live real lives but within an imagined world. That is a great skill ! The science is kept mostly in the background and the story is about human emotion, relationships, weaknesses and the self destructive power of the mind - all things that we can relate to in our own lives.
I think your imagined world is very well crafted - there is just enough there for us to get the gist of it; it doesn't crowd out the characters, it's not filled with acres of description of technology, robots and spaceships and the stuff that a lot of science fiction (which is still enjoyable in its own way) is reknowned for.
And above all, it is a story that is complete in itself, which is hard to do in relatively few words - so absolutely top marks from me (not that I am qualified to judge and give out marks, as such!) and I hope this is the first of many tales that I get to read from you.
Very best wishes.
Nick
Just blown away, Nick by your careful reading, your encouragement and your detailed feedback. That means SO much to me. I truly appreciate it. Ths story took a while to put together and then I wasn't sure when it was "ready" for publication. Of course I still see room for improvement. But I'm glad I put it out there because it's also making me see what I did right and not to lose that. I'm so thrilled to read that the sci-part doesn't overshadow the fi-part because that was my intent. I am always interested in the human angle and to read that it worked is really encouraging. Thank you thank you thank you. You have encouraged me to write on!
I finally got a chance to read the end today, Reena. And I agree with Nick that the focus on relationships amidst the sci-fi was what grounded the story for me and made it relatable. I also really enjoyed the plot twists, and I absolutely respect what it takes to create those turns! I am wondering how the ending came to you? You’ve left it somewhat open. Was that always your plan, or did it evolve as you wrote it?
Yay! Makes me really glad you liked it Emily! So happy to read that the human story came through, because the main reason I’ve not been attracted to most science fiction is because a lot of it is enamored with gadgetry and imaginative tech etc which is not interesting to me in a story but as I’ve discovered the best of it poses human questions.
The story arrived as a germ of an idea which needed a sci-fi backdrop; and then the end came as I wrote it. It suggests a follow on doesn’t it? but I’m not writing that - not yet anyway.
Big big thanks for reading it with attention and for your lovely comments, Emily!
I did enjoy it! In general, the human element, relationships and what motivates people, always draws me. If that's not there, I'm not usually interested. Thanks for the info on how the story arrived. The ending does suggest a follow, but also seems absolutely complete without one.
Yes. Thank you, Emily.
Reena, this is a story about finding who you are, who you have always been, even if you didn't know it. You write beautifully, with sensitivity and a straightforward kind of expressiveness that I find both easy to read and appealing. I think story telling is your thing. Thanks for this one.
Thank YOU so much dear Tim! I’m so thrilled that you read the whole story. And your thoughtful comments mean the world. This story is my longest yet as I’m learning how to write so I appreciate your words even more. 🙏
You are a skilled storyteller. You keep the reader guessing, anticipating and interested. And were able to tie things together quite satisfactorily at the end. Can be a challenge when one has built up anticipation. The choice of names KNOT, Maya, Krish, I think intentional, were clever. Enjoyed reading it. Thank you!
Sandeep — Thank you first of all for reading the story. That alone makes my day. And I so appreciate your vote of confidence. This is my longest story yet as I learn how to write better so I’m really encouraged.
“Within a year his doubts multiplied like algae in a stagnant summer pool. “ - I love this line,I’m reading Steinbeck and this could be one of his.
Wow! Thank you Joao! I really appreciate you reading my story and for that wonderful comment.
This is a fantastic milestone for you, Reena, and one for which you should be proud. It takes courage to write something different than your usual. It's worth it to contemplate what you think worked or didn't, and then apply it to all the great things you'll write next!
Thank you so much for all of it and especially for running this in the fantastic Lunar Awards. As usual, great advice!